"It's Not Right For You"
My head,
my head is full of things that I should've done
My heart, my heart is heavy, and it sinks like a stone
She said, "Is this the life you've been dreaming of
Spending half the day away from the things you love?
It's not too late to do something new."
She said, "It's hard enough trying to live your life.
But not following your dreams made you dead inside.
If you don't love what you do."
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you even have to think about it
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you really have to think about it
You got one life to love what you do
My hands, my hands are scarred by things I shouldn't have done
My feet, my feet are weary from all the miles that I've run
She said, "Open your mind, take a look within.
Are you happy with the world that you're living in?
If not, you gotta change what you do."
She said, "And lately I don't see you smiling lot.
Are you happy here with me and the things we've got?
If you can't say that it's true."
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you even have to think about it
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you really have to think about it
You got one life to love what you do
If we don't do something now then we'll never know
If we stay here too long then we'll, we'll never grow old
So, before it's too late and it's killing you, yeah
We've only one life to live. So love what you do
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you even have to think about it
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you really have to think about it
You got one life to love what you do
In the end, in the end
Better hold 'cause you're take it all in
In the end, in the end
You got one life to love what you do
In the end, in the end
Better hold 'cause you're take it all in
In the end, in the end
You got one life to love what you do
My heart, my heart is heavy, and it sinks like a stone
She said, "Is this the life you've been dreaming of
Spending half the day away from the things you love?
It's not too late to do something new."
She said, "It's hard enough trying to live your life.
But not following your dreams made you dead inside.
If you don't love what you do."
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you even have to think about it
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you really have to think about it
You got one life to love what you do
My hands, my hands are scarred by things I shouldn't have done
My feet, my feet are weary from all the miles that I've run
She said, "Open your mind, take a look within.
Are you happy with the world that you're living in?
If not, you gotta change what you do."
She said, "And lately I don't see you smiling lot.
Are you happy here with me and the things we've got?
If you can't say that it's true."
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you even have to think about it
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you really have to think about it
You got one life to love what you do
If we don't do something now then we'll never know
If we stay here too long then we'll, we'll never grow old
So, before it's too late and it's killing you, yeah
We've only one life to live. So love what you do
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you even have to think about it
It's not right, it's not right for you
If you really have to think about it
You got one life to love what you do
In the end, in the end
Better hold 'cause you're take it all in
In the end, in the end
You got one life to love what you do
In the end, in the end
Better hold 'cause you're take it all in
In the end, in the end
You got one life to love what you do
Lirik lagu di atas selalu membuatku semangat. Mungkin bukan
semangat, namun membuatku sadar untuk melangkah dengan hati-hati dan lebih
memikirkan keungkinan-kemungkinan yang bisa terjadi.
Lirik di atas secara tidak langsung berbicara tentang
passion dan ketika berbicara tentang passion, ingatanku terlempar ke tahun
2015. Waktu ketika saya megurus sebuah unit marching band untuk sebuah kejuaran
dengan tema passion.
Rumit untuk dibaicarakan. Yang jelas, kini aku hanya kebingungan
dengan hal yang sedang terjadi di hidupku.
Okupasi yang sangat tidak sejalur dan semua keberantakan yang membuatku
bingung. Semua orang berkata bahwa ini lumrah terjadi karena baru hitungan hari
dan minggu. Akan tetapi aku selalu merasa bodoh karena terus mengulangi
kesalahan sepele yang sama. Kadang aku
berpikir dengan berlandaskan lirik ini, “apakah ini benar-benar jalanku?”
ketika semua sama sekali tidak pernah ada di pikiranku. Dan ketika aku sama
sekali tidak pernah siap untuk menghadapi hari esok. Aku mendapati diriku
terkungkung dala ketakutan dan kelelahan. Walau ada orang-orang yang pasti
memberi semagat dan berkata, ‘tak perlu menangis, semuanya akan dibantu dan
segala hal akan selesai’memang tidak ada yang salah, tetapi aku merasa aku
bukan aku ketika menghadapi kehidupanku satu bulan terakhir.
Ini buka jalanku tetapi aku tidak bisa begitu saja keluar
dan membebaskan diri. Ada beberapa tuntutan yang membuatku harus bertahan dan
terus berusaha tersenyum walaupun aku dilanda
kebngunga, ketidakmengertian, dan kelelahan.
Lirik di atas benar-benar menasehatiku untuk berpikir lagi
dalam menjalani rutinitas.
Aku terus memikirkan hal yang telah kukerjakan. Aku selalu
bertanya,apakah semuanya selesai sebagaimana mestinya? Apakah semuanya
benar-benar telah selesai?
Apakah ini kehidupan yang sebenarnya kucari? Jelas tidak. Ini
bukan hidupku. Satu bulan iniaku merasa tersesat. Akan tetapi aku tidak bisa
kembali ke jalan yang seharusnya kutapaki.
Aku sealu menghabiskan waktuu untuk hal yang tidak pernah aku sukai
tanpa support, dan tanpa kehangatan.
Setiap hari kau selalu takut untuk melakukan hal yang belum
aku kerjakan. Aku selalu takut dan selalu dihantui oleh hal-hal yang selalu
mengejarku. Aku merasa tidak yakin, apakah semua orang merasakan seperti ini? Apa
aku terlalu lemah?
Setidaknya, aku telah mencoba. Karena aku tidak akan pernah tahu jika aku
tidak mencobanya. Namun jika nantinya aku telah nyaman dan bisa benar-benar menyesuaikan,
mungkin aku akan pergi, aku akan terus mendewasakan diri dengan menempa
kemampuanku lagi.
Hidupku hanya sekali, dan aku harap aku mencintai
pekerjaanku atau aku mengerjakan hal yang aku cintai.